top of page

Where do I start?

Monday 22 June 2020

Where do I start?

I’ve never considered myself a writer, even though I love writing and always have.

When I was 5 years old, my teacher assigned us a task: write 2 sides of A5 on the The Rainbow Fish. 

What did I do? I wrote 7 sides. I created a whole narrative, even drew diagrams. Shoutout to my sexy 7 legged octopus.

I remember how shook my teacher was, like damn this girl is doing THEE most. I didn’t care, I loved my story. Plus I got a sticker. 

I love writing so much, I was about to ramble on about my history of writing in primary, secondary, sixth form and uni, but at least I can recognise when something is overkill.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably already aware of this - on my Instagram stories I write ESSAYSSS on that tiny screen, and for some strange reason, you guys love reading them.


Honestly, I’ve been putting this off for months. I’ve been asked to make a YouTube channel for years now, but I get stage fright talking in front of a group of five people, let alone on camera where God knows who can watch me be awkward on the internet. That might sound dramatic, but that’s my thought process (as of now, not totally ruling it out). Selfies are one thing, but talking on video? God forbid. 


Even so, I love sharing my knowledge and opinions, and that’s why I share the way I do on my stories. If you know me personally, you know how excited I can get about what seems like the most trivial of topics. Whether it’s a TV show, movies, a cooking channel, makeup, skincare, hair, you name it. If I’m into it, I’m INTO it. 

When I was a kid, I was so obsessed with Harry Potter, I would read the books over and over and over again. To make it interesting, I’d switch the order, for example - 3,6,5,2,1,4,7. I had early access to a Pottermore account, I even had a stack of drawings and paintings I did of all the characters. When the Deathly Hallows was released, I read it in one day. A 640 page book at 11 years of age. Yep, that obsessed.

Around the time I turned 15, I got so into Lord of the Rings, I would watch the trilogy every week. Extended edition - 11.2 hours. 

Over and over and over again. My family was SICK of me looool. I just had to! Every time it finished I would think 'damn, I miss it', so I would just… put it on again. 

This obsession extended to the behind the scenes footage, which changed my life.

On one particular DVD, they showed the making of Gollum. How they sculpted different designs, how they hand painted his skin - all the different layers of blue, green, red, the veining, everything down to the last detail, before it was digitally added to the computers to animate. It was unbelievable - I couldn’t fathom that this was a real job. For some reason it didn't occur to me that there are thousands of people creating the magic we soak up on screen, but of course there were! Who else was doing it?

Another DVD showed the making of the orcs and hobbit feet - how extensive the prosthetics were, and how long it took from concept, to final design, to sculpt, to makeup tests, to painting, to hair punching - everything! It was mesmerising, I would watch 5 hours straight of the behind the scenes footage and not get bored for one second. 

 I truly have to thank Weta Workshop and Lord of the Rings for introducing me to this world, to what is now my job! They are the reason I wanted a career in the film industry, and now a decade later I’m doing what I love. Shoutout to my obsessive personality, couldn’t have done it without ya. 


So why am I writing this if I have the career I’ve spent years working towards? 

Miss Rona has had me out of a job for months now, and I have no idea when I’ll next be working.

I’ve spent these last few months trying to master yoga, cooking up various different dishes, binging TV shows, and reading Harry Potter in the wrong order. 

My friends and followers have been pushing me to write for months, if not years, so I figured... now is a better time than ever. 

Only took a pandemic and 3 months of lockdown to finally get around to it. 


So what am I gonna write about?

Well, see, that’s the thing. I have no idea.

I have my toes dipped in so many worlds, I think I could talk about anything.

I mean, look how much I’ve been talking and I still haven’t gotten to the point. 

I have a vested interest (understatement) in a few things I mentioned earlier - films, TV shows, makeup, skincare, hair and food - so I think that'll be the main focus. 


But there are no boundaries on here.


When I write, I’m just going to write. 

And it could be about absolutely anything I want it to be about! I might even write about my dreams. My friend Tim has been asking me to turn my dreams into scripts for months now; I don’t know if I’ll ever write a script, but where’s the harm in trying?


I’ve always felt like I never totally fit in.

In school, university, even in my family - and now, in my job, I feel it the most.

I’m not fashion enough for fashion,

I’m not film enough for film,

I’m not beauty enough for beauty,

I’m not prosthetic enough for prosthetics.


I used to think of it as a disadvantage, but really, it’s a positive. 

She multifaceted. 

And so many of you have reached out to me to tell me this. 

Taken time out to tell me I’m special, valued, and loved.

I thank you all for that, and I hope my ramblings will bring you a fraction of the joy you’ve given me. 


Please send any requests for things you want me to write about. Not saying I’ll do it, but y’know, I might.


How do you end these things?

Gotta think of a catchphrase.


For now - byeeeeeeeeeee




bottom of page